A Terrible Privilege
Just got back from seeing “The Avengers” (which was one of the most entertaining films I’ve seen in years) and there was a great scene in it that pretty much summed up how I feel about this past year. It’s the scene where Tony Stark (Iron Man/Robert Downey Jr.) and Dr. Bruce Banner (Hulk/Mark Ruffalo (who had a benign brain tumor a few years ago btw)) are working in a lab together trying to locate the “Tesseract” (don’t ask me what it is). Bruce is still struggling with his “disorder” (The Hulk) and Stark, to encourage him, tells him (I’m paraphrasing here) that he still requires his arc reactor (the thing in his chest that powers his suit and also keeps his heart going) to survive, and that as a result, understands his limitations and what he must do in order to survive, but he also knows the redemption, responsibility, and power that it’s given him. He implies that his arc reactor is the same as Bruce’s “Hulk” and calls it a “Terrible…Privilege”. I found myself so struck by that phrase. When I was in the hospital, I remember saying to people that instead of dwelling on the negative I actually viewed it as an honor that God would potentially use me and my story to make a positive impact on people’s lives and as I sat in the theater tonight I realized that looking back I kinda just assumed that that would be the case. Now 9 months later (and 100 Blog posts later, Y’ay!), I’m proud to say that it has in fact been the case and I think that Stark described it best as a “terrible privilege”. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t wish that my story was different and didn’t require so much uncertainty, pain, and discomfort, but that still doesn’t change the fact that it’s a privilege.