One Day At A Time
Since Alex’s and my journey began with all of this I have been encouraged by many to try my best to focus on “one day at a time.” Ha! It seems as though this would be an easy thing to do since each day since our diagnosis seems consistently Full, and hard to think about what I am even eating for dinner (Thanks to my mother in law, my own mom, and friends and family I have not had to really think about that). However, in this journey it is daily living, but “tomorrow” always creeps in. I seem to have days where my anxiety is up the whazoo and my mind is spinning forward about the days ahead. Yet what allows me to get back to center and “today” during those moments are several things… they are like “tools” I have grasped onto, here are a few… Calling a friend or a family member, listening to worship music, praying, thinking about something else, going to the gym, crying, allowing myself to feel whatever emotion it is that is overwhelming me, or simply identify what it is I am spinning about and talk myself out of the fear (try it, it works, I am not crazy..) This all may sound depressing, and at times it is.. but here is where the one day at a time thing gets better…
I have used the energy I feel and my Hope in the Lord to promote “new” ways of viewing tomorrow… such as the long six weeks of radiation. Ugh… the thought of them zapping my darling Alex just sends me to a not so great place (best way for me to describe it). However, my way of looking at the not so great thing ahead is to find an optimistic way of looking at it, which in turn encourages Alex which in turn encourages me. This is what I like to call the count down method. That’s right… we started out with a 33 day sentence (the amount of years they say Jesus walked the earth) of radiation therapy. So.. in the count down method we have graduated at this point to 28 days of radiation.. that comes out to 5 more weeks of the radiation journey and then we are DONE!! We were given a calendar (posted below) that shows each day of radiation and the time. You can see the “x’s”… I told Alex that each day it is his job to mark the days off… so we can feel a sense of accomplishment and see the end in sight.
I also plan on doing this with Chemotherapy. We will count down each month, and will find a way to celebrate when each month is done. I told Alex right after his first surgery that we would celebrate every victory great or small along this journey. This is also one thing that has helped in focusing in on taking it one day at a time.
I feel this whole outlook really fulfills the saying, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” This journey feels like a lemon at times, but then there are times when I really feel like we have made lemonade out of it. We focus on the accomplishments of today and plan for tomorrow.
I once asked my Great-Grandmother (who lived to be 97) what the secret to a long life was… she answered “focus on the positive things, the negatives don’t get you anywhere, and they have a way of working themselves out.” So heres to you Nana for not only being the most Amazing 97 year old I have ever met, but also the wisest 🙂